Clothes-Gifting

Okay. Let's get a few things straight. Seriously. 'Thin', 'Fat', 'Very Fat' are not shirt sizes. Let's try to refrain from the line of thinking that goes, Jayant is so thin, his shirt size must be 'Small'. "Excuse me, do you have this in a size 'Small'?"

Later saying, "Oh, that's fine... Body-hugging t-shirts that show your muscles are the new in thing!" will not help.

Okay. On to the next order of business. Collared, quad-coloured, striped/plaid/checked t-shirts haven't been willingly worn by people younger than 32 for at least 15 years now. Honestly. Get a clue. He'll say, "Oh, that's a lovely t-shirt! I don't have one that colour (of course he doesn't; that colour combination looks good on fish swimming under coral reefs, not people). Thank you! It's awesome!" If you insist, he'll even wear it, just to show you how nice it looks. That's it. That's the last time. After you leave, it's going to lie at the bottom of the clothes stack. It will then be discovered three years (or more) later, when the cupboard is being cleaned out by his mother. Thereafter, it will be gifted to the bai's child, who will promptly wear it the next day, acting like the stud of the eastern suburbs.

When buying clothing for men, some tips to follow:

• When buying a kurta-pyjama, try not to buy something that looks like a woman's salwar kameez.
• Embroidery, while beautiful to you, is not oft considered the same by men. Especially when it has beads and stuff woven into it. I'm all for honouring the craftsmen and all that, but please. Most people would instantly start being called 'queen', 'fairy' or straight out 'gay' if they were found dead wearing something like that, respect for the dead aside.
• Haldi yellow is NOT a good colour for pants/pyjamas.
• Avoid lace.
• Don't buy women's t-shirts by mistake.