Sunday, 28 September 2008

Goa Update 3: My Roman Holiday

Required reading: At least, Lady Bastard's Part 2 of Part 3. If you're in the mood for more reading, then My Goa Update 2 as well.

So after that wonderful session with Sanjay Khare, which in turn was after that absolutely lovely session on branding with our CEO, they decided we've had enough lovely sessions for the day (I'm pretending that whole fiasco of overshooting our budget 3999 times didn't happen). And so, we were lugged in for the briefing on our Roman Holiday.

Now when we were being given the instructions, one guy in our team (our vice-captain) got all excited, and kept telling us to chill, and he'd tell us why he was getting so hyper and all that. When instruction time was over, we were shown our materials and he practically started hopping on one spot, singing, "Haan, we did this last year, no problem!" and "Ours was the winning design, the OE last year had told us that this is the optimum design!"

So with that kind of optimism brimming in the team, we charged into the game, all ready to win and crush our opponents like little bugs, slit their stomachs, ride over them in our charriots resplendent with the colours of war... er... sorry. Too much Percy Jackson for me (even though that's Greek mytho, same Gods, so big shit.) Anyhoo. So with all that confidence, we moved into the game, and the Vice-captain and I entered the arena to work on our machine. I was given a razor and told to get started on some cuts to be made on two bamboo sticks. Working industriously, I did so. Eventually, those cuts were not used. Heck, a lot of shit started to fall apart for us, with my eventual role as a stick holder, keeping one end of a stick in place with my foot while he did all the work. Not that I minded, I think I was just ruining things.

Anyhoo, ten minutes outside of time, we had a contraption that my vice-captain declared ready for use, but not one he'd be proud of. And so, without so much as a test run (I mention this because the team was damn kicked about it), we carried the contraption off to the playing field to see how it would fare. There was a nice list of criteria that had to be met by the design, including such points as:
  1. It must be free standing.
  2. It must be self propelled.
  3. It must not fall flat when you fire it causing your eternal embarrassment.
Okay, so I made up the third one. But yeah, there were eight or nine such conditions. Once we were satisfied that we were meeting all the conditions stipulated, we got ready. We had to make a best of three runs and try to get as much distance as possible, so we set it up with great apprehension. We pulled back the sling, set the trigger, and nervously prepared ourselves for the shot.

With a silent prayer, our brave VC pulled the trigger. With bated breath, we watched the tension in the elastic rubber bands set the ball in motion, as it was flung out of our contraption. Soaring through the air for what seemed in the little universes in our minds like minutes, it traversed the space-time continuum to land at a spot a fair distance away from us. In unison, the entire team began to rise, looking at each other with congratulatory and somewhat conspiratorial expressions, cheering ourselves. We were just about to start some natural, unrehearsed, primal dance of joy to make other teams jealous of us when we heard the magical word uttered by our OE.

FOUL!!!!!!

Suddenly, the world of slow motion ceased to be. The dramatic lights and the Chariots of Fire theme in the background faded. The wheel rolled off our mighty chariot, the leading jockey fell off the horse, the model tripped on the runway halfway through her pout, the broadway star forgot his line, the VC and I almost collapsed onto our contraption. Together, we turned incedulously to our OE and said (still in unison, yeah, we were a pretty together team), "WHAT????" "Foul," he calmly repeated. "Your VC's foot was on that end of the catapult. The rules clearly state that the catapult must be free-standing." Of course, most of us had stopped listening long ago, angry and frustrated at (my best guess is) having given no input on this event whatsoever. Nonetheless, grudgingly, we resolved to make our remaining attempts.

Grumbling, and with sound and utterly unnecessary, unhelpful advice (yes, you know the type, everyone's got it at some point in their life) from our teammates (such pearls as,"Now be careful, haan? Don't put your foot there, okay?"), we set up our machine for the next throw. Two throws went without incident, and the best of two measurement came to a crushing 15.8 feet. To me, it looked more like 6 or 7, but heck, who am I to argue? We got the necessary bonus points, and somewhat pleased with our performance, headed out to dinner.

Dinner was (and I remember this for a reason, which you will all see soon) chinese food. Schezwan rice, some type of noodles, and a gravy dish I didn't venture near. As I ate the noodles, I realised I was eating some form of aperetif for starving bulimics. Moving on to the healthy serving of rice, I arrived at the positive conclusion that it was badly disguised pulao from the previous day (this is why I remember). Luckily I was saved from having to eat it by our then Director, now VP, let's call him Rat-a-tat-tat (because when he talks, it's like tommy gun fire) who, wrapped in a shawl, without footwear, and sporting a staff, asked me to make arrangements for a device usually accompanied by several drunk people.

What it was, why it was needed and what was done with it, will be made amply clear another day.

33 member protest rally:

Preeti said...

Jhayu...
maybe you should start working on a book...seriously

you write so well ... :-)

at least you got some distance with the catapult as compared to another nameless person's team...

and they fed you kal ka chawal...they ought to be whipped!!!

that profile pic...sheesh jhayu, if you put up such photos what else do you expect...other than misnaming!!!!!!!!

Jhayu said...

@ Preeti.
= P Thankis! You're awesome!

And yes, we did do better than the nameless one.

And with the exception of the food, the resort was brilliant.

And why do you think I put up such profile pics? =P

Preeti said...

and you are the awesomest...

see you invite misnaming..

that means all your protests are purely of 'academic interest' (i quote someone over here)...naughty naughty!!!!

:-)

Jhayu said...

@ Preeti.
I never really had an issue with the naming. =P

kurtnirvana said...

@Jhayu

Tell me one thing that i am damn curious about who is the one who should not be named?

Preeti said...

@jhayu...

a-haaaa...

you're such an imp...!!!

and remember the vow of silence...
the nameless shall continue to be without names...
the brotherhood meets again tonight same place, same time...

i hope you remember the secret code?

Jhayu said...

@ Preeti.
Of course! Once we're inside the circle, we are bound... And who could forget a secret code like that?

Preeti said...

yes...
it is sacred!!!

and forgetting it would mean immediate extermination...

Preeti said...

at the hands of the him that wears pinstripes in Club Zero!!!


ok...now im slowly losing it...the idle mind brews devilish intoxicants and hey...the trip begins

Still thinking said...

Get off me! The next best thing I can do besides talk is write, so I'm writing. Gawd! you sure are persuasive! :p

Did you seriously eat aperitif's?

Preeti's right you know, you could easily write Benhur II and I'll be sure to buy that book :)

Preeti said...

@still...

heh heh heh...

he sure is persuasive!!!
and what with all those profile pics...he neednt even make an effort to presuade!!!

Preeti said...

sheesh... *persuade*

got to be careful among you writers....

a very interesting WV -

ayeomm

Jhayu said...

@ Preeti.
at the hands of the him that wears pinstripes in Club Zero!!!

Yeah, you are losing it. But hey, you know what, now you can write a stream of consciousness post!

And you love my profile pics. You know it. = )

@ Still.
I ate some crappy noodles drenched in vinegar and something something. Major eww.

@ Both of you.
You do this humble knight great kindness, mesdemoiselles.

And seeing how you are so awesome, I have someone to meet you. His name's Pedro, and he's a Spanish chef.
{=|:{D Hola!

He likes you.

Preeti said...

noodles drenched in vinegar...???
yuck...

of course i love your profile pics...there's not even a semblance of doubt about that...

Ye Pedro kaun hai, bhai???

Jhayu said...

Pedro's my friend from Mexico! A chef! And a very good one! Don't you like him?

{=|:{o

See how shocked he is!

Still thinking said...

Wow! Time for some sangria and tapas! and hey, how about few flamenco moves ;)

Okay, I stop. I don't want you to inflate - I like you just the way you are :)

Almost saved ur skin by calling us mademoiselles. Good boy! :D

Jhayu said...

@ Still.
So my skin isn't saved despite calling you mademoiselle?
And Pedro rocks, okay?

Preeti said...

no i dont like mexicans...

so i'll let pedro go ahead and be shocked...!!!

wait a sec...antonio banderas is spanish right...? if he is mexican then i love mexicans... :-)

Preeti said...

@still...

he narrowly escaped it...
heh heh heh!!!

isnt he absolutely adorable though!!! i love him!!!

:-)

Jhayu said...

@ everone.
I confused. = S

Preeti said...

actually me too...

oye still...

suljha, yaar...

:-)

Jhayu said...

Main suljhaoon? Kaise? Kya baat ho rahi thi aap hi jaanti hain!

Preeti said...

aapko nai kaha, janaab...

still mohotarma se ye guzaarish ki hai...

aap thodi aise cheezen suljha sakte hai...
aap hi ne to uljha ke rakha hai...
hoshwalon ko behosh kar diya hai...

Still thinking said...

Stop talking ppl, I'm equally confused.

Jhayu, I like Pedro. Fine now. I actually invited you for some Sangria and Tapas and as you're so handsome, I thought a bit of flamenco wud help as well. Nobody gets me :(

Preeti, please keep the Mexicans away frm Spanish ppl and the fact that you love him so much got us all confused :D (I din wanna repeat it you see ;))

Still thinking said...

Preeti,
And the madam thinks that she can't seem to write :D

Wah wah wah...

Preeti said...

@still...

i knew i could rely on you...

oh so antonio banderas is sapnish after all...
sorry jhayu...me not likes mexicaans...!!!

what to do still yaar...

jhayu's strikingly good looks are so blinding that i am in a constant state of confusion...the vision of him makes me forget thoughts...

i wish someone else comes in and comments on the poor boy's post...we are derailing it
:-)

Preeti said...

*spanish*

gosh...

Jhayu said...

@ Still.
Does the offer still stand? 'cos I'm game! =)

@ Preeti.
Yes, my looks have been known to stop women in their tracks as the cross roads. They then promptly turn around and head back where they came from.

And it's cool, comment all you want! Higher volumes for me!

Preeti said...

hawww...
thats so not believable...they might have promptly headed back to check whether they are looking good or not...
problem is you didnt wait to see them come back and look for you!!!

:-)

Jhayu said...

@ Preeti.
You rock. Period.

Oh, screw self control.

THANKIS!!!!! We Love You!!!

Preeti said...

I love you too...
But you already know that ... right???

:-)

Jhayu said...

@ Preeti.
*nods vigorously*

Che said...

:-/

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