So seeing how I'm being totally unable to successfully finish off that piece, I've decided not to deny you guys good reading. To that end, I'm bringing out the little postlets I've been storing away for the past two weeks. Here they are:
People need to make up their minds. Seriously. You can't call me 'immature' one day and 'young-at-heart" the next. One's a good thing, the other's not. I don't mind being called either, just not both.
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*sigh* I cannot accurately describe the perils of coming out of the agnostic closet to a hyper-religious mother. I came close to it not so long ago, and it wasn't pretty.
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Indecision sucks. A lot. It's really crappy that people crib about me being childish and noisy, and when I stop being so, complain that I'm too quiet and moody. What do you want, really?
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Mother can't speak in normal tone or at normal volume anymore. I guess 17 years of screaming at 4 and 5 year-olds has taken its toll.
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How to freak out hotel cleaning staff: When you leave your room, leave in the dustbin a sanitary napkin and a condom.
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My brother needs help. He says he has trouble sleeping in our room because it's too hot. He also makes it a point, every night, to turn the fan speed down to 1.
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Drunk driving is fun. Before you all get ballistic on me, I mean getting drunk and playing NFS. Oh, it is so much fun to crash other people's cars on purpose. They honk like frightened little girls!!! *hee hee hee*
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Any arguments about the brilliance of cinema are utterly useless in the face of this one comment: "My singing show is on." That statement is like the thunderclap on the Magnum in CounterStrike. Lethal first shot.
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It's brilliant to hang out (and get mildly drunk) with old, old friends who you don't get to see very often anymore. It's kinda freaky when, based on the duration of your relationship, they start looking to you to define love, though.
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I hate Alexander Graham Bell. Thanks to him, one's attachment to another person is measured purely by the number of times that person is called.
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We are slaves to habit. And our subconsciousness. Like when iced tea is served in a small wine glass with an overly long, obnoxious straw, 8 out of 10 people will drink with the straw when it's infinitely more comfortable to bung it somewhere and drink straight from the glass.
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Here's something you don't want happening to you: You go over to your Creative Director with ads to be approved, tell him that an email awaits him, and he turns to you slowly, saying, "I've got a sinking feeling about this," only to inform you a minute later he was referring to a malfunction in the height control on his chair.
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Who am I?
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The Cheating Light
5 years ago