Wednesday, 16 March 2011

I bite my fingernails.

Down to the quick. This is an important piece of information, because it is the only reason my palms are not bleeding right now. I’ve been clenching my fists way too hard for way too long, trying desperately to hold on to the things I want.

But I’m letting go now. I think it’s time I admit my loss of control to myself. I can’t believe I’m picking a lesson out of a Sandra Bullock movie, but I’m going to control what I can and let everything else be. Let things go and see if they still remain. If they do, well and good. If not, well, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.

Yes, this probably means the neurosis will grow even more. I’ll probably chew on my nails more fervently than before. But this is necessary. Self-preservation. Maintenance of sanity.

One thing’s for sure though. No matter what happens, I’ll see you on the other side of it. Irrespective of where that may be.

3 member protest rally:

P said...

Funny, because I was thinking of doing the exact thing recently; letting go and seeing what remains.

It's that phase in life where everything seems much too overwhelming yet you're (I say you're but I mean anyone in general) too afraid/settled to start afresh.

But this (experiment?) will (hopefully) help put things into perspective without having to go through a full-blown life-cleansing trip. It'll be a mini reality-check, if you like, where you can just sit back and watch what bounces back and what drifts away into the distance.

Maybe this isn't even what you meant, and perhaps I'm going on a whole other tangent. But, after reading this post, and writing this comment, I realised what I've got to do.

So thank you for this blog post, I appreciate the push it gave me to actually go through with it. It's reassuring to know I'm not the only one who's doing it.

PS. Sorry about the mini-essay in your comments section. =) I typed this while sipping a delicious hot chocolate so got a bit carried away I guess. =P

Vismitha. said...

Here after a long time =)

Preeti said...

Kisses... Kisses.... Kisses... and lots of love...

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