Screwup

I'm genuinely asking here, do I really sound that condescending when I talk? I think I just realised it. I've made a BIG BIG BIG mistake. I've possibly lost the greatest ally to my cause. Gaaah! I hate myself. And pressure, but mostly myself.

If you must use air conditioners to sleep this summer, keep them on a temperature of around 26° C. That way,

1. your compressor doesn't switch on and off, saving power for the state and money for you.
2. when you leave the room, you don't have that icky feeling sticking to your skin that makes you want to strip in public.

Power conservation. Now an official theme on this blog? Scary thought.

Currently My Worst Nightmare

Store One:
Boss, give me a packet of Tang.
Sorry, we're all out of Tang.
Oh. Okay. Thank you.

Store Two:
Boss, can I get a packet of Tang?
My stock's finished, sir.
Oh. Crap. Thank you anyway.

Store Three:
Dude, do you have Tang?
Who's asking?
I am, duh.
Wrong answer.
What?
Nothing.
Do you have Tang?
Not anymore, I don't.

Walk back home, past Store Two:
Did you find Tang?
Nope, no one's got it.
I told you. They haven't brought around stock for a while.

Walking past Store One:
Psst...
Huh?
Psst...
Me?
Yeah, you.
Yes?
Get over here.
Yes?
You want Tang? I got some Tang.
Then why'd you say no before? I want some!
Yeah, it's going to cost you.
Obviously, I wasn't expecting to get it free...
Yeah, that'll be 5 lakhs for a half kg packet.
NOOOOOOO!!!!!!
*Wake up screaming*

Yes, I'm a serial chicken-shit. And yes, I have some ideals I'd rather uphold. I'm proud of both. Live with it. Take me as I am and all that crap...

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!

If they knew that April is the most auspicious time for weddings in the whole f@#$ing year, why the f@#$ would they put exams in it????

Come on, people, it's simple logic!!!!!

Oh! The agonies of volunteering to be left out. BMS, I officially hate you ten levels more.

Scary Shit

It is amazing the number of things in ordinary life that we take for granted. Just brush past them like they're inconsequential. Ignore how wondrous it is that some things happen, and how glorious it is that others don't. Like how we take for granted that a pressure cooker will work and not explode in our faces.

It's nice when things just work. Like when you wake up, look at your clock and see the second hand just falling into place as your alarm starts to ring.

Standing Ovation

Wow. No, really. Wow. If I could show myself standing and clapping here, I would. You honestly amaze me sometimes. This makes up for all the times I've asked you, "Why me?" Heck, this is probably why.

Thank you. You've given me more than I ever dreamed I would have. Ever. Whenever I find myself thinking I deserve this, you just have to bring around this new piece that makes me go, "Shit."

Seriously, though. What on good God's Earth did I ever do to deserve such bounty? I'm not complaining, mind you. I'm just curious. 'Cos I'd do it again a million times over, in a heartbeat, if you'll give me her again next time around.

It Matters. It Really, Really Matters. (NOT!!!!!!)

It's the T-Lang.

No, I heard the Prush Ramen is doing it.

No, no!! The Prush Ramen called them all little cowardly bitches. It can't be him. The Covenant won't let him do it. It's This Dude from inside Jayant.

No, man! I'm telling you, it's the T-Lang.

It's not the T-Lang. You see, the Shakey-la told me in person that they've spoken to them. The Settlers.

So they didn't mention the names of the Settlers, did they??? It's the T-Lang. I'm telling you.

Look, I'm guaranteeing that it's This Dude.

It's the T-Lang.

It's Swan Nee.

What? You're not even talking about the same thing, you idiot...

No, it's Swan Nee.

You're deluded, man. It's the T-Lang.

The Prush Ramen.

This Dude.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Traditional Remedies

Bad mood? One of those really crappy ones that make you want to bash your keyboard in? Here's an ancient remedy that's been passed down through centuries, unblemished by modern additions.

Are you ready?

Deep breath. Here it is.


Lick clean a jar of Nutella. Trust me, you won't even be able to spell 'wories'. 'Werrois'. 'Srewior'.

See?

Gyaaaaarh!!!!

U&T klshdf ijzspvo osd[ idjf zxpjiasdf iou ifap u aua uias jpadf asyfuizdfi9iua f
hadofyaf yafpo io OIYlnhaf hafpin;.a sfugasf o[iasdf
asfh';
afuoyasfugas afyul fyasfo; uiap9f;qhinc uas dopua w rlyasf o8 juasd kj.

Decode THAT, bitches!

Comment Shark

Good Days, Bad Days

There are good days when you're touted as the Cameraperson of the Month, and then there are bad days when your Dad 'accidentally' locks you in the bathroom...

Kinds of Bus Passengers

Incredibly long bus journeys mean I have nothing better to do than this. And though the number of types of passengers may be the same as the number of people (since every individual is unique and all that crap), I have categorised them as follows. Please note, you may fall into any or even all of the following categories.

1. Wind Riders
   These spirited individuals like to enjoy the thrills of water skiing (or other such adrenaline-pumped physical activities) whilst on their bus journeys. For the same, they stand at the footboard and enjoy the wind running through their hair (or bald patch) till such time as another irate passenger asks them to step off or the conductor (descriptions of conductors given below) threatens to throw them off (I must add, it really does get the adrenaline flowing. Or maybe I'm a wimp who enjoys cheap thrills).
   
   
2. Sleepers
   Contrary to what crappy Kurt Russell movies will tell you, this guy does not set off bombs, but uses long bus journeys to catch up on lost hours at home/class/office. I must admit I fall rather heavily and blissfully in this category. Subsets include the Nodders, the Snorers and the I-Don't-Know-You-But-You-Have-A-Wonderful-Shoulder-Please-Let-Me-Sleep-
   On-It.
   
   
3. Flakes
   These individuals get into buses they don't really like. Once in, they see the proverbial grass on the other side, and after having bought their tickets, get off to switch buses. Another subset in this kind is the one who buys a ticket to a particular stop but eventually ends up getting off three or more stops before it.
   
   
4. Broken Records
   Need I really say more? Sitting next to them is akin to hearing an LP being played on a gas stove. Mind you, these individuals believe themselves to be experienced campaigners in these so far uncharted vocal territories. They are also the ones who go line up fifteen days in advance with tents, clothing and food (if not highly geeky "collector's" items) for Indian Idol auditions.
   
   
5. Fountain Statues
   Momentary dementia or severe identity crises cause these individuals to believe, while seated on bus window seats or standing at exits, that they are centrepieces of Venetian marble on beautiful garden attraction fountains. They understand perfectly how the use of light and colour is important in fountains, and therefore ensure that their streams are bright red from time to time.
   
   
6. Long Stalks From The Beach
   These amorously inclined individuals (mostly young gents) enjoy following the objects of their affection around the city, standing at a safe enough distance to be viewed as an innocent co-passenger, yet close enough to smell their muse's perfume, or whatever the hell gets their balls rolling (pun not intended at time of writing; perhaps later...).
   
   
7. Cursors
   These are irate individuals who feel rather strongly and negatively about their bus driver's abilities (descriptions of bus drivers given below). So strongly, in fact, do they feel, that they decide to brave the zero-G trip down the gangway to relay this opinion in person and in no censored terms to said driver.
   
   
8. Pre-Cursors
   These individuals share much of the previous category's views. Unfortunately they either lack the courage or the conviction in their beliefs to move to action, as do the members of the previous category. Instead, they grace their co-passengers with their flowery language in their description of their feelings about the bus driver's talents.